HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF AFTER HEARTBREAK

Updated: May 1, 2021

Heartbreak comes in many forms, but typically we equate it with the loss of a romantic partner. Research shows that this type of loss can cause physical pain and even inflammation. It can be one of the hardest challenges a person ever faces.


After a breakup, people sometimes become consumed with replacing the object of their desire with another. Far too often, romantic relationships are born out of desperate need or the fear of being alone instead of mutual respect, understanding, and kindness. Rushing into a new relationship is not necessarily the best strategy because you might need time to heal before you can make a better and more rational choice.


In life, I find it beneficial to look at my experiences, good and bad, as if they are lessons. I dive deep into the situation to extract what I can learn from it. In this way, I feel like I am turning a negative into a positive. This helps me accept a loss and move on. Acceptance is when you stop deceiving yourself or self-sabotaging yourself with delusions of a happy reunion or that your ex will magically change into the prince or princess you thought you kissed. It also means you accept your emotions around the loss, whether that involves anger, grief, hurt, rejection, loss of confidence, guilt, fear, or derivatives of all the above. Open up to these emotions. Let them wash over you with love for yourself and your resilience. Recognize that you have done your best, whatever that is. Recognize that there will come a tomorrow that is a brighter day, because, in truth, time does heal all wounds.