Updated: May 1, 2021


Let's talk about anger repression and how to release repressed anger. First, I’ll discuss what is repressed anger, then ways to release anger.

Repressed anger is a negative emotion that hides in our subconscious minds, but surfaces in emotions such as depression, poor self-image, and unhealthy behaviors.

Repressed ager generally stems from having an experience that causes you to feel negative emotion when you don't do the work to let it go. Much of my personal repressed anger developed after my father died. I was full of hate and anger and directed it at my mother, who was heartbroken after his death. Actions I deeply regret.

The thing about repressed anger is that if we hold onto to it, it spreads into other areas of our life, not just the one we experienced it in. And we tend to use the one particular moment to avoid taking risks, chasing dreams, and opening our hearts to others. This closes doors for opportunity. I also projected these emotions out onto the world, punishing only myself as I embraced the victim mentality.

With the help of a therapist, I learned what was at the root of my anger and how to release it. I didn’t realize I was furious at my father for leaving me, in fact I thought it wasn't his fault, and this made it impossible to get to the root of the problem.

She instructed me to write out the reasons I was angry at my father. I reluctantly complied, and once I got my first emotion down, the rest came flooding out. I even ended up with a four-page list! My next step was to visit my father’s grave and read the list, then burn the papers. This exercise left me with a great sense of relief and helped me let go of my anger. The last step was to stand at my father’s burial place with another person. This took a lot of courage for me, as I could barely visit his grave alone at that point, let alone with someone else.

I had to forgive my father for leaving me and my family, and even though him getting Dementia and dying wasn't his fault, addressing my emotion around it and my subconscious anger is what freed me from my conscious anger too. It liberated me from self-pity and the victim mentality that protected me with the excuse that 'life is unfair', and in turn, it allowed me to take control of my life!

Anger is normal and nothing to be ashamed of, it is one of the emotions that makes us feel alive. But holding onto it and reliving experiences that made (or continue to make) you angry, is pointless as it only hurts you. Your goal is to move past anger repression, and I will gladly help you, as letting go was freedom, and liberated me.

You can practice the exercise I described above for releasing anger directed at any person or even a circumstance. It is also beneficial to find a spiritual connection and learn to free your mind. Meditation or taking time for silence helps you attain that. Man