Updated: Jul 5
You are who you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with five successful people you become the sixth. Your social circle should include people who share similar aspirations and goals. In this way, you can help each other grow, and find support when you need it.
Relationships stem from more than words and deeds. They are also about the energy you put out and the energy you get back. If you are putting forth positive, encouraging energy and only getting back negatives, the relationship is not a suitable match for you. Connections should fulfill all parties involved.
Have you ever thought of yourself as the giver and the other person as a taker? This happens frequently, builds stress, and isn’t healthy. Healthy relationships breed cohesiveness, strength, empowerment, and confidence, and these attributes promote growth. Therefore, your ability to surround yourself with people who motivate, inspire, and hold you accountable is important to your success.
The first thing to do when reevaluating your relationships is to take a deep dive into what you want in your associations, whether they involve coworkers, friends, acquaintances, or family. Make a list of what you like and dislike about people in general, of things you can and can’t tolerate, and what makes you feel good when interacting with others. Think about your current friends and if they inspire you or if they bring you down. You may see a need to break out of a cycle of not picking the right people to join your inner circle. Don’t feel guilty about letting some people go who don’t positively affect your life. Too often we think forgiveness means continuing to let others negatively impact us. You can forgive while also letting go. You are just as valuable as the next person, so put your well-being first and everything else will fall in place.
Do whatever self-improvement work is necessary to draw in the right people. Remember, you attract what you put out to the universe. Your thoughts become things. It is essential to open your heart to improve your own energy and make it more positive. Meditation and self-hypnosis can help you do that. The more love you give, the more love you get.
Another excellent exercise for growth in forming positive relationships is to practice gratitude. At the beginning or end of your day, think about what you are grateful for in the people you interacted with. This practice causes the brain to produce oxytocin, which makes you feel good and is important for bonding. It’s the same hormone that mothers release after birth. Gratitude Hormones
Listening is an important skill to master in finding healthy relationships. Next time you are talking to someone, instead of focusing on the next profound thing you want to say, just listen. Don’t even respond with more than a nod of your head. Let the person disclose all that they feel comfortable disclosing. Then it can be your turn. This can help improve your conversation skills and lead you into deeper and more meaningful conversations that often help you discover common interests or experiences with others. Always be open to learning about someone and listening closely is key to doing that. Drop all judgments and be brave and vulnerable. Vulnerability can build trust.
Practice setting your boundaries so people know what to expect in your relationships. Are you okay with texts after midnight? Are you volunteering to be someone’s emotional dumping ground? If not, let them know that. This can save you from being taken advantage of or manipulated.
Finding a healthy circle of positive relationships takes effort, but it can be a learning and growing experience. Learn to set clear intentions, expectations, and boundaries. Practice communication skills. Know what you need and want in relationships.
The next step is to take action and put yourself out there. Frequent those places where empowering people go. That might be a gym, self-help seminars, entrepreneur meet-up groups, book clubs, or other places. Strike up conversations with people that interest you. Open up and be honest when others approach you. Authenticity is easy for most people to read. Don’t let fears of potential judgments or rejections hold you back.
Having positive relationships is part of success because success is not an independent journey. We all have to rely on others to get us to where we are, and we will continue to lean on others, in some way, to get to where we want to be. Every person deserves to be treated with kindness, but you can choose who to let in and the ones who add true value to your life. Want to find out more information? Listen to the Best Life-ing Show podcast that aligns with this blog! CLICK HERE